7:11 a.m. on 2001-11-14
The amazing altoid mint

I'm touched. According to my stats, 120 people viewed my diary yesterday. I have no idea who any of you are, but you're all very special to me. Now, before salty rivers flow from these tear ducts, I'll change the subject. I think I looked like a heroin junkie nodding off at work last nite. I would type in one receipt, nod the head, close the eyes and then *KABOOM*- I'd be awaken by my head slamming against the table. This pattern repeated for the entire night. In my own, not-so-expert medical opinion, I've concluded that I hit my head several hundred times against a nice, sturdy mission oak table. This resulted from what we in medicial circles call lack of sleep. Instead of coming home and going to bed, I always turn the glowing box of evil on (no, not the computer, i actually like this thing...the tv!!!) Like today, Maury Povich has something on about kids born with flippers instead of hands. Well, maybe not flippers, but they look like flippers. Maury always gives these kids a gift like a trip or a computer, or a shoe, or something. I hope he doesn't give the flipper kids a trip to Seaworld...they might get insulted. Today, I also officially acknowledge the utter sadness of my no-girlfriend/no action status. I know I don't speak of it much, but now I will. I've gone a good several months now without any girlfriend, no random hookups, nada, zilch. Hector, my supervisor, turned to me at work after he gave me an altoid mint and said, "These come in handy when you're goin' down on a honey, ya know?!" I looked at him, nodded, and said, "Oh, yeah!" But I really had no idea what what he was talking about. Is it to test the strength of the mint? WHAT? Someone tell me. PLEASE!!!

in the slammer - up for parole