7:22 a.m. on 2001-11-16
Dressed for the wretch

Tonight at work had superior suck written all over it. Leo, who is the nicest guy in the world, but indulges in the drink a wee bit too much, lost my receipts. I'm sure I will hear about this tomorrow. Oh, thanks to everyone who wrote in knowing the name of the worm that was pals with Teddy Ruxpin. His name was Grubby. I had a stuffed Grubby as well. It wasn't very cute. It looked like a plush tapeworm infection. It always managed to lose itself under the bed, and then one day, it just disappeared for good. I saw this Russian girl on the train again. She stared at me and gave me that inquisitive, Russian-girl look that asked, "Gucci or Versace, my American boy?" I shot her back a classic me-look which could only have said, "Payless...doesn't it feel good." Her Russian-ness was clearly not accustomed to such sartorial vulgarity, and she actually vomitted on the floor! Actually, she didn't, but she would have if she knew I bought my underwear at Bobby's Discount Clothes palace.

in the slammer - up for parole