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5:38 a.m. on 2001-12-14 I just got the morning paper and read that Winona Rider was arrested for shoplifting at Saks 5th Ave. They also found some oxycondon and dome shit on her. I guess if Timothy Leary was your Godfather, this should come as no shocker. Saks 5th Avenue won't suffer any serious revenue loss as a result, so I really don't care. Personally, I think Rider is merely paying out a penance for subjecting the world to the awful "Mermaids" which she co-starred in with the equally atrocious Cher, a relic who should have been embalmbed. Under that kittle tidbit, I read about how the pre-quel to Silence of the Lambs is underway. This is an outrage. A perfectly good, even great pre-quel to Silence of the Lambs was already made, and it was called Manhunter. This version, I'm told, will feature high quality actors, and so on. This is SO classic Hollywood necrophilia. Waking the dead to squeeze a couple of dollars out of the box office. Forget the fact that Manhunter was directed by Michael Mann, who is probably the one helmsman in Hollywood who actually understands the complexities of Film noir. This new Pre-quel's director? Yes, it's Brett Ratner-director of Money Talks, Rush Hour's 1 & 2...I almost wonder if Chris Tucker will play the role of Hannibal Lecter. Did Fred Astaire, dancing with a hoover vaccum years after his death turn your stomach? Well, Anthony Hopkins will reprise his role in this pre-quel. He'll play Lecter...25 years ago! Only problem is Hopkin's himself is too old for the part. No prob! He's going to be "digitally" made younger. One must ask why an actor of Hopkins caliber would offer to have himself turned into a video game. The answer must certainly be money, because Hopkins is completely forgoing ANY realism by starring in the role. This is merely a microcosm of the state of Hollywood. The fact is, as afraid as we are to admit, GOOD STORIES DO NOT GET TOLD IN HOLLYWOOD. Let's take The Doors, for example, Oliver Stone's over-budget mess that plays out more like a movie of the week than a biopic about one of rocks truly great groups. Obviously, Val Kilmer was chosen to chosen in large part due to a resemblance to the late rocker. As The Doors, Batman Forever, and (the pinnacle of Kilmer's oeuvre) At First Sight prove, Val Kilmer cannot act his way out of the box from which he was delivered to Hollywood in. Worse yet, The Doors was made by Oliver Stone, a man who has made his career in directing films that hope to end entire genres. Stone constantly let's his apolitical posturing and government paranoia get in the way of completing the task at hand, aka making a film about The Doors. Instead, Stone takes us on a journey that leads us to believe that Jim Morrison was second to only John Kennedy in desired government death targets. If we talk about Oliver Stone, we have to mention three of his other truly bad films. In Wall Street, Stone tries to make the definitive film about the capitalist market. Really, it's a disguised rant about Stone's guilt in participating in one of capitalism's most precious darlings; the Hollywood Film. Nobody even bothered to make another movie about the trading and financial world until Ben Younger's brilliant Boiler Room. Then there's JFK. A film in which Stone values style, 100%, over substance. By film's end, Stone wants the viewer to believe that President Kennedy was essentially murdered by a homosexual southern businessman with a vendetta. Nice. The epitome of the Oliver Stone ego-fuck is Platoon, the story of how he went off to Vietnam and became a man. What can you really say about a film whose actual "events" have been refuted by the actual people involved. So, fuck Oliver Stone and the rest of his Hollywood cronies for thinking they can take over history and present to us as they deem fit. in the slammer - up for parole CLIX |
