7:24 a.m. on 2001-12-28
Oprah should try opium

Local programming in NYC sucks. Worst of all is our channel 55, which subjects viewers to no less than 4 episodes of Oprah Winfrey everyday. I don't like Oprah Winfrey. Her acting was stale in "The Color Purple", but hey, we could forgive bad performances. It's her show that I detest...It's preachy, and filled with the kind of new age spirituality shit that has people buying up tacky, gold colored ceramic angels. Her most recent show was yet another attack on drugs of ANY kind in America. From a woman who admitted to being on the pipe for like 2 minutes, you'd think the "Ope" would be more sympathetic to those in the pro-drug lexicon. Her special on Ecstasy last year was laughable. She showed pictures of people with holes (they weren't really holes)in their heads to aghast teens. it reminded me of the Simpson's episode where Lisa goes to the dentist and is shown an exagerrated picture of a tooth growing out of her head IF she doesn't get braces. Oprah barely gave any room to pro-drug spokespeople. Nice. Then there's the obligatory weekly session with that southern swami Dr. Phil. I want to know what medical institution gave this charlatan a licence. He's a fifty year old bald man with bad posture...of course he's bound to have all the answers about relationships and sex. Most detestable is Oprah's book of the month club, which is a really pathetic platform for Oprah to grandstand her ability to read while simultaneously impressing her famous friends. It's a sad commentary on the times when you need Oprah Winfrey to get you to open a fucking book. I plan on attending a "future" Oprah event, hopefully one on drugs. I'll inject my private member with anabolic steroids and then get on stage and beat her and doctor Phil with it. Then, Aphrodite Jones can write a bad true crime novel about me. Maybe I'll even make Oprah's book of the month club.

in the slammer - up for parole