1:39 p.m. on 2002-05-28
Barbecue mayhem!

Andrew WK should've written a special version of his anthem just for me and called it STUDY HARD! Because I didn't. I'm fairly certain that I-for the second illustrious time-flunkerooed Geology. Not that I care, because I really despise that beast with chalk, Professor Savage. I was soooo happy to leave that I literally ran out of the lecture when I finished. Afterwards, I went to Whitman Hall to see a really great film which I had never seen called "Sweet Smell of Success." I believe it is now on Broadway with John Lithgow. Unfortunately, the film was being specially viewed for a bunch of mentally kaput high school kids who randomly shouted out such critical gems as, "Yo, I slap my girl harder than that white boy jus' got slapped!" Whew!

I went away this weekend on a family excursion to the godforsaken land of Maryland. Actually, it was pretty nice, but sections of it were like certain parts of Jersey in that you wonder if the pioneering fathers would've been proud of SO many strip malls. I stayed at rich a rich umpteenth cousins house. There was a lot of masculine combat being engaged in that house, especially over who gets to cook the Memorial Day Barbecue. All the older men were waving barbecue brushes at eachother and cursing about how long pork gets cooked. It looked like a riot broke out on the Julia Childs show. In keeping with that analogy, I sat down with a nice glass of sherry and watched the Lakers game while these louts battled it out for the title of Grillmaster Moron.

I saw a deer at night and it looked very peaceful. I also caught a glimpse of some foxes and racoons and they were all very nice animals.

Did that last paragraph sound like it was written by a kid with Down Syndrome for a class project? Probably.

in the slammer - up for parole