11:09 p.m. on 2002-07-12
Elizabeth Smart is dead-Get over it

I endured one of my worst ragefests in recent memory, all at the hands of CNN.

You might be enraged, too, if you woke up to find for the fifth straight morning that the most pressing matter in the entire US is not terrorism, but a missing rich girl. Not just any missing rich girl, a missing, rich white girl. This, of course, catches our collective attention immediately. Forget that everyday, missing black, hispanic, asian and for that matter, white children not born into status and prestige, go missing, are kidnapped or are abducted without nary a word or mention in the press. Just the obligatory "milk carton" pic will suffice.

The underlying message here is that when Princess is taken from the window of her castle, a national tragedy has occurred. When the peasant child is abducted from his/her hut in the village, who really gives a flying fuck? Not coincidentally, the other "big" story here in New York is the divorce of former mayor Giulliani and his wife, Donna Hanover. This is important shit. Why? Because the majority of Americans love to see our rich, powerful and elite divided by tragic (though not nearly in this case) circumstances. It's all very romantic and touching. No different in the case of Elizabeth Smart.

Don't go pegging me as a heartless bastard. I feel for the family and I hope that this girl is ok. But how fucking callous and downright WRONG for CNN to assume that this is the most important fucking girl in the world. In a sense, aren't we proving Adolph Hitler right? That the only REALLY important children are the ones with blonde hair and blue eyes, or at least the ones with very large trust funds? This years Elizabeth Smart was last years Jon Benet was last years Meagan Kanka. Aren't we just bolstering Hitler's demented notion by becoming fetishists of Aryan posterchildren?

So Mr. Smart, instead of bawling like a little bitch on CNN, and wondering "how such a thing could happen", here's some advice. Pick up the fucking phone and get some ADT security service. Then, maybe some window guards with locks. I know it would look simply unsightly on the mansion, but imagine the tragedy that could've been prevented. Put that fat checkbook to use, you cheap motherfucker.

in the slammer - up for parole