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Rollerball 2002

I’ve become a one movie per month guy. This is not in any way due to lack of interest in cinema. Budget constraints and weeding through the garbage to get to the good stuff have more often than not left me viewing motion pictures in their “unintended” form: home video. This weekend, I saw a remake of one of my favorite cult classics. Needless to say, I left the theater pissed, broke and wondering if I’d have made better use of my time renting out the original.

Before I get into the negatives of Rollerball 2002, I’ll point out why I’ve decided on such a short critique of this film. If a piece of art, were it literature, a painting, a musical piece, a film, etc. exists, it deserves at least the courtesy of being seen. I’ve always dismissed the shenanigans of Siskel & Ebert (or Roeper) who use their own form of alchemy to turn films into gold or poison in the eyes of viewers with a “thumbs up” or “thumbs down”. This isn’t the most sophisticated method of film analysis and more often then not I’ve suspected that these men have never actually seen the film they are reviewing. With that said, my analysis of Rollerball 2002 will be short and to the point, but won’t go so far as to discourage you from seeing the film.

The original Rollerball (1975) was directed by Norman Jewison, whose own fame lays in his visual style, one that has been called a precursor to MTV-style presentation. Nonetheless, Rollerball is probably one of the more prophetic films dealing with sports and its’ modern day excesses.

The hero of Jewison’s Rollerball is named Jordan (the irony won’t be lost on many here) and is played by James Caan. He’s an anti-hero, a super-athlete who is loved by his legions of fans, but disliked by his corporate bosses who wish to force him into retirement. Our own “real” world Michael Jordan faced a similar situation after the 1998 NBA season. While Jordan (who by that time had won 6 championships) vowed that his departure was due to a desire to “go out on top” more skeptical fans knew that the Chicago Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf and general manager Jerry Krause wished to dismantle the team. Why would any owner/manager wish to break up a money making formula? More likely than not, it was felt that Jordan had become bigger than the game and it was time to move on to newer and better things.

Of course, we can’t really feel bad for Michael Jordan, the cultural millionaire icon. He was not forced out of the sport altogether, as he could’ve commanded a salary in upwards of $50 million per season from ANY other NBA team. The man was that fucking big. Ironically, Rollerball 1975 foretold the salary excesses to come. The film was released in the very same year that the New York Yankees signed pitcher Catfish Hunter to the first multi-million dollar contract in the history of any sport!

The game in Rollerball 1975 is literally the “game to end all games”. It’s part basketball, part hockey, part every sport imaginable. More accurately, Rollerball (as presented by Jewison) is an apocalyptic pastime being played out with an impending clash of love of sport and commerce. It’s an exaggerated game in that the director warns that our own desires for excess, coupled with the players’ need for greed will be that which damns sport into oblivion. Only the owners would seemingly benefit from such demise as they hold the cards and would ultimately repackage the sport.

Jordan (of Rollerball 1975) is a threat to the status quo. No shot in the film more accurately displays this defiance than the last; the final shot, underscored by Bach’s Toccata & Fugue in D minor, is Jordan flying on his skates toward the camera. His intense look, together with the music, is in essence Jordan “flying in the face” of the corporate structure that wishes to diminish the purity of the game. He’s their worst nightmare.

With that said, Rollerball 2002 fails because the purity of the game, be it baseball, basketball, hockey, etc has been spoiled. Actually, beyond spoiled. In an age when Allan Houston of the New York Knicks is paid a $100 million plus contract over 7 years, only to “lead” his team to their worst record in 14 years, passion for the sport hardly seems a factor anymore. Our “Jordanesque” icons like Tony Gwynn of the San Diego Padres and Cal Ripken Jr. of the Baltimore Orioles, who both turned down big money contracts to stay with the teams they loved, are gone. They are replaced by the greedy likes of Allan Houston.

The character of Jordan doesn’t adapt well to the 21st century. Played by a horribly miscast Chris Klein, Jordan doesn’t play out as an athlete we should feel any sympathy for. Rather than presenting the film “Roller ball as social message”, Rollerball 2002 is presented as a visual mindfuck. Sleek street machines, flashy lights and staccato editing all impair Rollerball 2002’s potential for social commentary.

On a brighter side, LL Cool J once again plays the character that helps a bad film “save face” as he did in Deep Blue Sea. Chris Klein, however, is destined to become the most typecast good ol’ boy since Jimmy Stewart.

in the slammer - up for parole